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Sex on the First Date
Many young men dream about sex on the first date with a new partner. This article discusses this controversial topic offering insights into its effect on the relationship. Many young men dream about sex on the first date with a new partner. This article discusses this controversial topic offering insights into its effect on the relationship.

It is very common for young men to dream about making a "score" and having sex on the first date with a new partner. There are many opinions about this behavior. In this article we will examine the concept of sex early in a relationship as well as offer a theory about how changes in attitude and behavior have evolved in recent times.

Specifically, we look at the following questions:

1. How has the birth control pill changed behavior with regards to early sex?

2. Will first date sex, or early sex among couples, lead to a long-lasting committed relationship?

For those of us who are little older, we remember clearly how it used to be. I remember my high school class, a class of about 440 graduating seniors. It was one of our favorite pastimes to consider the names of people we knew and argue about whether this or that person in the class had "gone all the way." Although the class was very large we could only name a few individuals that we thought were having sex! What was the reason for this? In retrospect, the reason was clear. At that time, the birth control pill was just coming into use. Presumably, most of the young teenage girls were not on birth control. It was therefore, the fear of pregnancy that promoted abstinence and restraint. Not only did it encourage abstinence, in my Middle American town, it virtually guaranteed it. For example, I remember like it was yesterday, coming home from the senior prom and after having one or two innocent kisses my date said to me, "we have gone far enough." I'm sure that that would not happen in today's society.

I do not, however, judge either the past or the current sexual situation, but I am only drawing a comparison between two different times: then and now. So it was then, that the fear of teenage pregnancy tended to keep the frequency of coitus low in the particular culture of my small town.

This earlier lack of contraceptive choices is in stark contrast to today. Depending upon the state of residence, most teenage girls as well as adults, have ready access to birth control pills and other birth control devices. But, with this lack of restraint, has the divorce rate or the relationship breakup rate declined?

The answer is surprising. With all the relationship counseling and talk among new couples regarding sexual chemistry and the attributes of compatibility, we have actually seen a large increase over the years in the divorce rate.

How does this relate to unmarried couples in a new relationship? I think it is not an unreasonable assumption to consider that as the divorce rate has increased, so has the breakup rate and frequency of failed relationships among casual couples also increased. If, therefore, early sex in presumed long-term relationship has not led to longer and more stable relationships, then it is clear that early sex in a casual, dating relationship will not lead to a long term commitment either.

First date sex is therefore highly disruptive and not recommended. In addition early sex between couples is also not recommended. A relationship that has its basis mainly in sex and physical attraction may see an early demise when the physical attraction begins to lose its novelty.

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Copyright 2010 William Marzullo